Comments on: How to Love on Women Who Have Been Wounded by the Church

By: Cyndee Ownbey

Cyndee Ownbey — Sun, 08 Sep 2019 17:17:54 +0000

In reply to Loretta. Lorretta, I apologize for not responding sooner. I am so very sorry this has happened to you. The church body can sometimes be very judgemental and unloving. I don't know what their motivation was in this situation, but God does. I encourage you to pray and ask the Lord to reveal their hearts to you and to give you wisdom in how/if you are to respond. May God be your source of comfort and strength. <3

By: Loretta

Loretta — Tue, 03 Sep 2019 19:08:20 +0000

I started going to a church near me 4 months ago, after not attending since a church 2003. I divorced in 1994 after 12 years of abusive marriage, I have no children, and haven’t dated since. I am happily single. My problem is, this new church is a loving church, seemed very welcoming, going out of their way to embrace new people. I guess it was as show, because after I confessed in a Women’s bible study on Wednesday night, that I was divorced after an abusive marriage, the other ladies have started shunning me. We had a nice Hawaiian dinner for the men and women last week, for married and single, and they didn’t include me in the fun. Pictures were taken, but I was left out. I sensed the other women are maybe afraid I’ll try and take their husbands? I don’t know. I am an outgoing person, and do chat with everyone, maybe I offended someone? Help. I am hurt and angry.

By: Cyndee Ownbey

Cyndee Ownbey — Sat, 02 Feb 2019 21:46:34 +0000

In reply to Vonda. Vonda, thank you for your sweet and encouraging words. I am certain the women felt it came from a place of love! I am so sorry you've been hurt too. Praying God will quickly lead you to a new church home and that He will heal your heart. <3

By: Vonda

Vonda — Sat, 02 Feb 2019 14:56:35 +0000

I have so appreciated your website, it has been equipping, encouraging, and fun! Different seasons and groups need different things and your diversity has been helpful, thanks. At our end of year meeting last year as we recapped events for the year I also welcomed all the ladies who were able to join us for the first time in hopes they wouldn’t feel left out since they couldn’t relate to the events being spoken of – I pray it didn’t have the opposite effect! Perhaps a more general welcome than an individual one to each publicly would have been sufficient, thanks for helping me see that perspective.

Sadly I recently had my 2 X 4 experience and we are now in the process of looking for a new church. So much of what you said rang true with me, still raw and hurting not wanting this to happen but I know God is big enough and healing will come.

May God bless your efforts as you seek Him and follow Him.

By: Cyndee Ownbey

Cyndee Ownbey — Mon, 21 Jan 2019 21:22:56 +0000

In reply to annie. Oh, Annie... I am so very sorry for your hurt. Praying God will heal your heart. <3

By: annie

annie — Sun, 20 Jan 2019 07:18:45 +0000

Thank you so much for having a page about wounding in the church. We too have moved on – it has been a very painful journey – but one I pray will bring blessings also.

By: Cyndee Ownbey

Cyndee Ownbey — Wed, 05 Dec 2018 19:11:59 +0000

In reply to Kim Foster. Oh, Kim, I am so sorry you were wounded, much less by a pastor's wife. I pray God will use your experience to comfort others. <3

By: Kim Foster

Kim Foster — Sun, 02 Dec 2018 23:43:08 +0000

I too was wounded by a pastors wife while I was in the process of learning what it takes to be one. Thank you for this article. I was so wounded by her that I didn’t think I was even capable of being anything. Now I am in a new town, a new church, and I lead other women as a Women’s director. Thank you for this wonderful article.

By: Cyndee Ownbey

Cyndee Ownbey — Thu, 29 Nov 2018 17:02:23 +0000

In reply to Tracy Jones.

Oh, Tracy… my heart hurts for you… I am so sorry you’ve endured so much but am thankful that you can see how God is using it to refine you. Hugs to you, sweet sister in Christ. <3

By: Tracy Jones

Tracy Jones — Thu, 29 Nov 2018 15:19:50 +0000

I feel your pain, intensely. Or maybe I should say I feel my pain all over again in every word you wrote and rewrote. I grieve for any woman, man, frankly wounded by the very ones who should have grown them in Christ. After nearly 40 years in full-time Christian service, I’ve had nearly every conceivable day hurled at me, not by Satan and his minions, but by Christian leadership. I felt like “Facing the Giants” was written nearly as my life story, except that some of the gorier details were left out. I understand David’s words in the Psalms when he discovered it was those he loved and trusted who betrayed him.

That said, I also see now somewhat of what God was doing. I desperately want to follow hard after God and use my life for his glory. So Christ had to fit me for service to a people who sometimes don’t even know themselves, let alone what their words and behavior are doing to others. Looking back, I think I am just beginning to understand the tapestry God is weaving in my life to better serve Him and those to whom He leads me.

I’m a slow learner. I’m just beginning to learn when to walk away, when not to let it sink in, when to open my heart. I’ve told God, I quit. I’ve told my husband, too. But God’s grace pulls me back and I’m learning to keep my eyes on Him, not the waves rolling around me. God is good, all the time and forever.

Thank you for your transparency. It is urgently needed for there are wounded women out there who can be drawn back to God by your words.