Comments on: 10 Reasons Women are Leaving the Local Church for Online Ministries

By: Cyndee Ownbey

Cyndee Ownbey — Wed, 07 Apr 2021 15:38:50 +0000

In reply to RJ. RJ, I am so sorry this has been your experience. Thankfully not all churches are like that. And even when they are, we must remember we do what we do because we love the Lord, not because of any recognition or accolades we receive here on earth. Our obedience to what God has called us to do is what matters most. I pray you'll rediscover the joy of serving the women in your church. Feel free to contact me directly if I can help. PS/I chose to remove one word from your comment rather than delete it.

By: RJ

RJ — Wed, 07 Apr 2021 02:18:59 +0000

In reply to Anna D.. Absolutely. Women do all the work and get no respect or gratitude for anything. That's how churches operate, unfortunately.

By: Ramona Whitaker

Ramona Whitaker — Fri, 22 Nov 2019 15:12:11 +0000

In reply to Cyndee Ownbey. I think churches are beginning to realize that their free housekeepers,babysitters,cooks,and dishwashers are rapidly disappering.

By: Cyndee Ownbey

Cyndee Ownbey — Fri, 21 Sep 2018 15:49:16 +0000

In reply to Anna D.. Anna, yes, unfortunately, that's often true...

By: Anna D.

Anna D. — Wed, 19 Sep 2018 18:37:20 +0000

I think the church misses the huge amount of unpaid work that women do ????

By: Cyndee Ownbey

Cyndee Ownbey — Sun, 10 Jun 2018 19:26:59 +0000

In reply to Robin. Robin, thank you for sharing your experience! I am so thankful God is using your experiences to create a safe place for those who are struggling. I pray they'll see you as an example!

By: Robin

Robin — Sat, 09 Jun 2018 02:28:17 +0000

I have a different experience I wanted to share here. I was a social recluse for several years, and face-to-face Bible studies were just too much for me. I’d start, only to stop as women began to get to know me. Online studies were my saving grace and the tool God used to allow me to ‘fellowship’ from the safety of my home and the anonymity of a computer screen. I was able to share honestly, to offer words of encouragement, insight and prayer to others, and learn what community looked like. A year later…I’ve attended four ‘live’ Bible studies and am now leading a study on the book of Acts! That’s what brought me back to this site. (I used to read the articles with a prayer that someday I’d be able to put them into practice and I’m in joyful tears as I write this!) I’ve been open with my church about what I went through, and we’re being intentional about being a safe place for those who struggle like I did. My church offered two online groups this summer as part of our lifegroups and they’ve been received well. I just wanted to offer a different perspective!

By: Cyndee Ownbey

Cyndee Ownbey — Fri, 04 Aug 2017 20:58:10 +0000

In reply to Inkling.

This breaks my heart…we left a church about 8 months ago. I can totally relate to being shut out of “established, close, long term relationships”. I am thankful your new place is wondering and am praying you’ll find a place to serve where you can use the gifts God has given you. I, too, have just gotten tired of trying… (If you live near Charlotte, NC connect with me and we will go have coffee!) Praying for God to open hearts and doors and for you to not just survive, but thrive in this season even as dry as it may feel. Please connect with me via FB or email (cyndeeATwomensministrytoolboxDOTcom) if you want to talk. I know all to well what you’re going thru and in many ways I’m still right there with you…

By: Cyndee Ownbey

Cyndee Ownbey — Fri, 04 Aug 2017 20:51:57 +0000

In reply to Sandra. Sandra, I so wish these weren't true! Praying for change! Thanks for your comments.

By: Inkling

Inkling — Thu, 03 Aug 2017 18:47:11 +0000

Trying to enter into a church body as a newbie that has already established, close, long term relationships is super tough. Being an older mom of a young child in a community where most moms of young children are more than a decade younger than me also makes it tough to find my niche. Being a homeschooling mama of one child (secondary infertility is just so fun, not), also makes me the odd mama out in a place where most of the kids go to the local Christian school, mamas have multiple kids close together, and nothing is offered for homeschooled kids. Even BSF was something I had to quit when I no longer had a place to send my child, since the school age program was only offered in the evening men’s group. Their children’s ministry was amazing, and I was asked to help with it, but honestly, it’s the ONE day of the week when I’d like to be around adults. I’m around my own child 24/7, and while I loved teaching other people’s children in my 20’s and 30’s, teaching my own is more than enough in this season of life. I moved here with great gifts, many years of service with solid training and a pretty cool track record of ministry experience, and was told no to every single area of service and gifting I offered. After 8 years of no’s, we were actually told we were “blessed to go” by one pastor’s wife, which led to a season of being too wounded to even go to church and eventually led us to try a new place. The new place is wonderful, but super hard to really feel a sense of belonging without years of working at building relationships. Finding a place of service there that doesn’t include working in children’s ministry hasn’t panned out yet. I long to know and be known, but after 11+ years, it is still an uphill journey. As the fall ministry season approaches, I keep asking myself if it’s worth trying again to find deep connection and belonging in my local community (BSF or church), or if I’m just too weary of how super structured, awkward, and lonely it is. I would love it if someone would invite me out for coffee without me being the one taking the initiative, find out what I have to offer, and then invite me to work with a team in a way that allows me to bring to the table all the things I’ve wanted to bring for so long.