Below you’ll find the show notes for episode 83, The Unseen Reasons Women Skip Ministry Events and How to Address Them, from the Women’s Ministry Toolbox Podcast.
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The Unseen Reasons Women Skip Ministry Events and How to Address Them
This series on Hot Topics and Hot Takes continues with a look at why women aren’t coming to women’s ministry events.
Almost every week I hear from leaders who are disappointed and often frustrated by the lack of interest in women’s ministry events in their church.
- They’ve worked hard to plan and publicize events, yet few commit, and even fewer show up.
- They struggle to find women willing to serve on their team and women to volunteer at events.
- Most are discouraged and many are ready to throw in the towel and walk away from their calling.
- They are desperate to pinpoint the “why” so they can do something – anything – to turn things around.
Many logistical reasons keep women away such as work, childcare, and competing activities, but today I want to look at the underlying reasons our women aren’t coming.
Insight from the Bible
A couple of years ago as I was reading through Acts 8 I couldn’t help but notice the stories of Simon and the Eunuch and draw parallels to the very women we serve.
Both Simon and the Eunuch:
- Heard the Gospel
- Saw/understood the miracles
- Gave a profession of faith in Christ
- Were baptized
The Eunuch was born again, but Simon did not truly know Jesus as Lord and Savior. Acts 8:21 tells us his heart was not right before God.
Many of your women, have likely heard the Gospel, understood the miracles (Jesus’ resurrection), have given a profession of faith, and have been baptized. But like Simon, some have a heart that is not right before God.
Some of your women aren’t interested in women’s ministry events and activities because they have never fully accepted Christ as their Savior. (See Titus 1:16 and Matthew 15:8.)
Sometimes we can see that God is not a priority or force of change in their life.
Quoting a date, time, and place does not equal salvation. Some prayed out of a sense of duty, succumbed to peer pressure, or came forward without a repentant heart. They may never have experienced the prick of conviction or the draw of the Holy Spirit.
Your women may profess to know God, but may not really know Him at all.
I say this with confidence because I was one of these women.
Throughout my teens and most of my 20’s I thought I knew who God was. I grew up reciting the Apostle’s Creed, but it wasn’t heart knowledge.
I was lacking that personal experience with God.
While the Bible is clear that only God knows the heart (1 Samuel 16:7), we can look for the fruit of a personal relationship with God. I’ve created a Women’s Ministry Health Assessment to help you look for fruit. (Click the link to access the free resource.)
Let’s examine the spiritual barriers that keep our women from women’s ministry events and formulate a plan to overcome those barriers.
7 Spiritual Barriers that Keep Our Women from Women’s Ministry Events
1. They lack a personal relationship with God/Christ.
They may have the head knowledge but don’t have the heart knowledge.
2. They’ve walked away from Christ.
They used to love Him, used to think about Him constantly, and used to spend time with Him almost daily but not anymore.
3. They embrace a part-time Savior.
When it’s convenient, when they are convicted, and when they are in crisis, then they seek His help. They may attend church every couple of Sunday mornings, but there’s no active relationship.
4. An idol has taken Christ’s place in their life.
Something or someone – could be exercise, caring for their children, an aging parent, a job, or social media – has overtaken the time they once spent with Christ.
5. Their calendars have little to no space for God.
They hold high the banner of busyness and don’t trust God with their calendar or clock. God has the power to expand time and increase our energy so we can get everything needed complete if we ask.
Our women have succumbed to the pull of society to overschedule their lives and their children’s lives because they are afraid of missing out. Not realizing that they are truly missing out.
6. They do not know what the Word says.
They do not know or understand what scripture teaches about being in community with other believers, serving others, and engaging in discipleship. They may never have been taught about the importance of holy habits. (For more information on developing holy habits see my book, Rethinking Fellowship.)
7. They have quenched the Holy Spirit.
They’ve dialed down their time with God and they’ve turned up the volume on the things of this world. Because they aren’t spending time in prayer and time in God’s Word, they struggle to know what is True and fail to follow the Lord’s leading. Some have physically quenched the Holy Spirit with drugs, alcohol, and other addictions.
As the faces of your women come to mind, you may be able to pinpoint the barriers keeping some of your women away.
Now that we’ve identified the issues, how do we get our women to a place where they want Jesus more than they want the very thing(s) that have taken His place?
9 Tips for Overcoming Spiritual Barriers That Prevent Women from Attending Women’s Ministry Events
1. We must pray with urgency and fervency.
Lives literally hang in the balance. We’ve got to pray for the softening of hearts, scales to be removed, ears to hear, and people to proclaim God’s Truths.
2. We must be winsome.
We’ve got to be intentional about creating community and making certain every single woman feels welcome so she wants to come back. The women leading your events need to be excited about the event and filled with Jesus. Delivery matters.
3. We need to meet their physical needs so they can be present to have their spiritual needs met.
This may mean offering childcare, scheduling evening events for working women, and respecting their time so they can return home as scheduled.
4. We teach them what God’s Word says and we make it easy for them to take action.
Provide workshops on how to read the Bible, how to pray, and how to share your faith. Give them lots of opportunities to serve others. Offer in-depth Bible studies with an emphasis on application. Help them to form or find discipling relationships with other women.
5. We model the very things we long to see from our women.
We show up every Sunday possible. We bring our physical Bibles and take notes during the sermon. We participate in a weekly Bible study, small groups, or discipleship groups. We share scripture on social media. We let our women see us living out our faith and the joy that it brings!
6. We teach our women to be discerning.
Some of the things our women are reading and listening to don’t align with God’s Word, but they have been led to believe it does.
A few weeks ago I saw a post from a very popular Instagram account offering to mail out The Book of Mormon to her followers. The comments clearly revealed that many people do not understand that Mormonism is not Christianity. She was boldly sharing her beliefs and twisting scripture.
False teachings are whispering in the ears of our women constantly – are we batting those lies back with the Truth?
Note: There are many great resources to help you understand the difference between Christianity and Mormonism. The article, Are Mormons Christians?, at Gotquestions.org is a good place to start. You may also find this video series by Melissa Dougherty helpful.
7. Pour into a small group of women.
This might be your women’s ministry team or a smaller discipleship group. Gather women who are interested but in need of some spiritual spurring. Study and discuss the Bible together. Most of our women struggle to talk about the Bible and what God’s doing in their lives because they lack practice. (My READ Bible study Kit for Groups is perfect for this!) Help them become strong in the holy habits of Bible study, prayer, and evangelism, and then send them out to train and encourage others.
8. We must give women an opportunity to respond to the Gospel.
You can talk about Christ and what it’s like to live a Christ-focused life until you’re blue in the face, but if you haven’t told women HOW to become a follower of Christ it’s all for naught!
Don’t fall for Satan’s lies that women aren’t ready to hear – they may not be ready to respond – but they expect to hear about God when they are at a church event or they wouldn’t be there.
Women are more open to spiritual conversations than we give them credit for – we allow our fear of failure to keep us from sharing the best news there is!
10. Provide retreats.
When we are able to get women to step away from the pulls of the world and set aside their crazy schedules, we can teach them to pause, to listen, and to receive a message from God.
Bless them with some free time so they can reflect on the message. Throw in some laughter and some fun, but don’t neglect the depth. Allow them to connect with other women in discussion groups. Encourage groups to continue meeting after the retreat.
Unfortunately, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution to increasing attendance at our women’s ministry events, but we can make changes that encourage attendance.
Today’s Toolbox Tasks:
- As a team identify the spiritual barriers keeping your women from coming to women’s ministry events.
- Select and implement at least one tip to overcome those barriers.
Lord, we ask you to move in the hearts of our women. Give them a desire to know You more. Develop a hunger in their hearts for time with You and time with their sisters in Christ. Only You can change their hearts, but help us to do our part to make our women’s ministry program a place where they grow in their love for You and Your Word. Amen.
You may also find these resources helpful:
Rethinking Fellowship: A Handbook for Hosting Meaningful Women’s Ministry Events
Sharing Stories of God’s Everyday Faithfulness Workshop
READ Bible Study Kit for Groups
ACTS Prayer Training
Women’s Ministry Health Assessment
Barb B says
A recent women’s event at our church was ‘Bunco Night’ using the verse Matthew 18:19-20 New King James Version (NKJV)
“Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.”
I could not bring myself to go, feeling use of this verse was inappropriate and I don’t enjoy playing this type of game.
Cyndee Ownbey says
Barb, I can understand your hesitation. I would be concerned too. Maybe there a testimony shared about the power of prayer? I’d encourage you to talk with the women on the leadership team. They need to be aware how their publicity was perceived. If they are taking scripture out of context, they need wise women in the church to come alongside them.
Barb says
I have expressed my concern.
Happy Gal says
Give me a break!! Just because there is any individual Christian event, does NOT require us to attend.
Perhaps the VALUE of participation is not worth the ticket price.
Perhaps the 6-8 hours of fellowship is not based on existing relationships, especially if there is no plan to maintain contact among women’s conference participants going forward.
It’s NOT always about the woman’s heart being “wrong” or her relationship with Christ being inadequate.
Laurie L says
Amen Happy Gal. Most of the events are aimed at a specific group of women.
Cyndee Ownbey says
Hi Laurie, thanks for joining the conversation. Please see my response above.
Also, I’d like to understand why your women’s ministry events are aimed at a specific group of women and not all of the women in your church.
Cyndee Ownbey says
Happy Gal, thank you for taking the time to comment. I think you may misunderstand the intent of this post. I am not implying that women are required to come to every women’s ministry event their church hosts. I’m encouraging leaders to look at the hearts of their women – SOME of which are not right with Christ.
If the events in your church are lacking in value or there are 6-8 hours of fellowship, then there’s a bigger reason why women aren’t coming. If you poke around my site, read my books, or listen to my podcast, I think you’ll see I consistently encourage women’s ministry leaders to host events with a biblical focus and a clear purpose.