Below you’ll find the show notes for episode EP 78, Celebrating New Life and Love: Managing Baby and Bridal Showers with Grace, from the Women’s Ministry Toolbox Podcast.
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Celebrating New Life and Love: Managing Baby and Bridal Showers with Grace
This series on Hot Topics and Hot Takes continues with a look at baby showers and bridal showers.
A leader reached out and asked if I would cover this topic and I was happy to oblige.
This is a very nuanced topic and one that relies heavily on the precedent that has been set in your church. That’s not to say you can’t make changes, but it’s important to consider all the angles and minimize the hurt feelings that may occur.
10 different ways churches manage baby showers and bridal showers:
- The women’s ministry may be responsible for hosting and scheduling baby and bridal showers for the entire congregation.
- Small groups may be encouraged to host showers for their small group members.
- A shower is only given for the first-born and the first marriage.
- Every birth and adoptions are celebrated.
- Firstborns receive a full shower and every child after receives a diaper shower.
- A group baby shower is given to all moms who gave birth that year.
- Regular attendees and church members may be showered.
- A box is placed out for gifts, diapers, cards, or both.
- Baby showers are thrown for local pregnancy centers.
- Cash donations are collected for a group gift.
No doubt there are more ways for babies and couples to be showered, but as you can see churches handle showers in a wide variety of ways.
In our church, our women’s ministry team does not host baby or bridal showers. A small group may opt to host a shower and they can request to use space at the church, however, it’s up to each group to decide what they want to do.
I’m not here to offer a solution or suggestion for every church. I hope to pose some questions and ideas that will help you think through your ministry situation.
- What’s best for your church?
- What’s best for your women’s ministry program?
I am not suggesting that you add baby and bridal showers to the things you’re already doing. That’s a decision that needs to be made based on the Lord’s leading and in a discussion with the leaders in your church.
Things to Consider
There are so many variables to consider – your church size, the ages of your attendees, the church and ministry budget, what’s been done in the past, the mission of your church, and how your church is structured. Are most people connected to a small group or community group?
I strongly believe we have a responsibility to steward our resources and time well and baby and bridal showers can put a strain on both. Your team may also find that hosting showers doesn’t align with your women’s ministry mission statement or purpose.
If your team is feeling the stress of hosting showers or the women in your church are feeling the strain of attending and buying gifts, maybe it’s time for a frank discussion on what’s best or what needs to change.
When I’m confronted with a ministry dilemma, I start by answering some key questions. Doing so can help remove the emotional reaction I or other members of the team may be having.
- Why are we doing this?
- Who will benefit?
- What does God’s Word say?
- What is the impact on our budget?
- What is the time commitment? (planning and attendance)
- Where does this fit with our purpose?
- Who will we reach?
- Who will be left out?
I’m not saying the church or people in the church shouldn’t throw baby or bridal showers, I just want you to make certain that you set a policy that best serves your church members and your women’s ministry team.
Showers can be a beautiful, Christ-focused celebration.
- Baby and bridal showers are one way we can love the women in our church body.
- Baby and bridal showers provide an opportunity for us to speak God’s Word over these celebrations.
- Showers provide an opportunity for public prayers for these women and their new spouse or child.
- Some women may not have a family that will host a shower.
- Some women are very much in need of the practical items they will receive.
- Showers provide an opportunity to celebrate God’s provision and blessings in our lives.
- You may have a woman or women in your church who take great joy in using their gifts to host showers.
As you can see, there’s so much to consider!
Tips for hosting showers:
- Have a process for including women who are new to the church – you may decide to throw her a shower for her first baby with your church family.
- Have a policy for situations in which the woman does not have a family or does not have a relationship with her family.
- Have one person as the contact person for every shower.
- Create a list of guidelines for décor, budget, hosting, etc. so all events are treated as equally as possible.
How you handle less-than-ideal situations matters. How will your church handle babies out of wedlock, pregnant brides, or other sticky situations?
I have a dear friend who was treated terribly when she became pregnant outside of marriage and it caused her to walk away from the church for years. Thank God she’s back now, but our actions or lack of actions can cause some deep wounds. Talk with your pastor to find out how they expect you to handle situations that may come up and what policies are already in place that you need to honor.
Additional things to consider:
- You may need to encourage your church to put into place a form, rental fee, and policies for renting out your church for showers if you are allowing church members (or those outside the church) to host showers in your building.
- Be mindful of the precedent you are establishing. What is done for one person will be expected by others.
- It’s easy to miss a need. Even in the smallest churches, celebrations can slip through the cracks.
- How will adoptions be handled? Will older children who are adopted receive a shower of some kind too?
- Consider alternative ideas for celebrating that don’t involve a shower such as setting out a box to collect cards or inviting people to drop off grocery items to pack the pantry for brides and grooms, or diaper showers for new babies. Perhaps a welcome baby basket would be more appropriate.
As a deacon’s wife in our church, we have created newborn baskets that we drop off when the baby is about 3 weeks old or older.
Newborn Baskets include:
- A pack of post-partum prayer cards from Daily Grace (use code: WOMENSMINISTRYTOOLBOX to save 10%)
- The book 5 Things to Pray for Your Kids
- The board book Psalm 23
- A onesie with our church logo and the words “loves me”
- A nice custom diaper bag tag, also with our logo on it.
- We put all of the items in a small reusable plastic basket.
What a wonderful opportunity we have to celebrate babies and marriages with our church family!
I pray God will guide you, your team, and your church staff to consider the best way to celebrate these blessings. I pray it will be clear how you can share God’s love in a way that doesn’t place a burden on the people in your church or on a single ministry team.
Toolbox Tasks:
- Review your church’s policy for baby and bridal showers.
- Have a discussion with your team about any impact this may have on your ministry team and any changes you might want to suggest are made.
- Take some time to pray for the families that you know are getting married and having babies this year.
If you do nothing other than pray for these families, what an amazing blessing that would be!
Terri Lynn maples says
Thank you so much for sending this email about baby showers. I”m going to our first committee meeting to plan a shower for our new assoc. pastor and his wife. It is their first child and this is the only shower they would like. You have some great ideas! It was so timely sent that I know it was from our precious Lord!!
God Bless Your ministry!!
Terri Maples
Cyndee Ownbey says
How timely!! Thank you for sharing! I’m glad you found it to be helpful!